Monday, July 30, 2012

Back to work

Today was Dan's first day working since Wedly came home. Thankfully he was able to work from home, so it was a nice transition as he was still able to have lunch with us and it made for not quite such a long day b/c his drive time to and from work is so long. So we were able to see him in the morning, at lunch and for a couple of quick breaks. Dan woke up in the six o'clock hour, so at seven, when Wedly woke up and saw his daddy wasn't there, he immediately asked about him. I told him daddy had to work today, so we wouldn't see as much of him. He seemed to take it okay and snuggled in with me for awhile before we headed out to make some breakfast. Wedly was SO excited when he came up from his office at 5. He got even more excited when Dan decided to do some mowing on the tractor with him on his lap.

I must say, Wedly, Gabe and I had a pretty good first day. After breakfast we left for a walk down the road. I tried to jog a little bit of it (which Wedly loves), but there are some steep hills that would be impossible to jog with two kids in a stroller. It was pretty sweet as I trudged up the steepest hill, Wedly looked back and said "Good job, mommy!" One thing that really makes my heart smile is whenever we round the bend to where you can see our house, Wedly starts saying "Mommy, home! Mommy, home!!"

After breakfast, we played for awhile and then made some Zucchini bread. Wedly really loves to be a part of whatever it is we are doing. He loves to help out. I got all the laundry done today and had Wedly help me put it away, which meant folding some things a second time, but boy did he want to help!

I'm really hoping and praying I can find a good balance as far as the time I spend with each of the boys. Of course in normal circumstances the older child is secure in his relationship with his mom by the time a baby comes around, so when the mom has to spend a lot of time feeding and caring for an infant, it's not too big of a deal (the elder child may not like it, but you know they'll make it unscathed). Unfortunately, we don't have that luxury. I find myself feeling very torn, like I need to give all my attention to Wedly who needs to learn to love and trust me, yet that isn't possible. Gabe needs a great deal of attention too! And I find myself missing Gabe a lot when I put so much focus on Wedly. It feels like I'm spending a lot of time just trying to get him to go to sleep so I can focus completely on Wedly, rather than stopping to enjoy his quiet awake times. It is hard not to feel guilty! My world pretty much revolved around Gabe's needs prior to Wedly coming and I loved the time I had with him, so it hasn't been easy to give some of that up. For example, when feeding Gabe, I try to read and play with Wedly, so even though I'm spending that time with Gabe too, it doesn't really feel that way to me. Anyway, it's just the nature of things right now. I'm just praying that what I have to give will be enough to fill each boy's love bucket, so to speak. :o)

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